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TEOSB: Eight
The Eyes of Someone Blue: Eight“A Cure for Anguish” I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close DAY SIXTEEN: TUESDAY Marie Belle Our noses bumped into each other; feeling his heavy breath lingering on my temple. I glanced at him docilely because I didn’t manage to hear his whisper. Instead, I caught his lips and kissed it. I was too weak to curb myself. As confused as Chase was at first, he went along with it after. My mind commanded myself to pull away but my body won’t let me. All the kisses I osculated, Chase did the same. He pinned me down on the bed and kissed me fiercely as if he’s trying to show how it’s done. What am I doing? Get the hell off him! And then, there was a will that pleaded me to halt. Hence, my hand quickly crept up to his chest and gripped onto his plain grey shirt. At last, everything came to a pause. “You have to leave,” I said indignantly with a wrinkled forehead. Clearly, I am as puzzled as he is. Chase sent himself out and as he looked back at me, I was puckering my lips to block the tears from being tasted. At a time like this, who knows what will happen next? - - - Chase Anderson I didn't grasp the meaning of that enigmatic comment until much later. But she kissed me. I don’t why I say it like it’s a bad thing when it's not. At least, it helped me apprehend. David’s right. She’s not a girl who would wait in line to marry me. All those fans, I will never know the genuine reason why they do. I may be rich, famous, good looking but when I look in the mirror, I see nothing. As much as it kills me to say that Marie is not mine, but she will be. You'll think I sound confident but honestly, I'm as scared as a pipsqueak. It's a first when I’m not sure what will happen exactly, and that's why this should get interesting. Though I am sorry to jump into David's life and steal his properties, but heck, he needs a challenge anyway. Nothing comes easy, and Marie isn't going to be any different. I didn’t care if I hurt my brother – all I wanted was to have her. You might think I'm an evil troll who enjoys browbeating Dave, which obviously, it's just for the fun of it. But in this case, it's a totally different situation. I never had the intention of destroying him. That brings me back to middle school, since our mother discouraged home school education, Dave and I gave it a go at normal schools where textbooks exist and recesses were all about getting yourself dirty. I had the most pretty and popular girls, and I played with them like toys. I always competed with him but he never seemed to bother. He lived without any attempt of achieving something, and he often got what the presents I wished for. In fact, I was so jealous of him I couldn't bear to let him have the things I wanted, and I still am. There, I've said it. The truth - it was so painful, I just had to bury it. - - - The city lights – I shielded my eyes from its glimmer. My hands were tucked in the pockets, still walking blindly as I contemplated about her. I half-smiled to myself - ignoring the silent squeals as the face of Marie Belle flooded my mind. I figured I couldn't live with myself if she was to weep upon her mother's death alone. My concern for her has pumped adrenaline twice the speed in my veins. I ran with full force while I beat myself up in the head. For being such a fool, I hated that I listened to her because I'm sure me-leaving-her-side was not what she truly desired. - - - Soaking wet, I knocked on the door courteously but in an urgent manner. “David!” Sarah and Mr. Belle yelled in unison. Oh, right. That reminds me. I haven't told who I am yet. They seemed elated for a moment there as if my advent was some kind of a momentous parade. Nevertheless, I seek to be pertained to their operation as well, so I must return their hospitality with my help. Wait, forget about hospitality. They didn't even show me any! Don't they see that I could barely handle the temperature? “I'm not exactly who you think I am. I am not David,” I assured. Both of them raised their eyebrows while I let out a heavy sigh. “Is this some kind of an inside joke? I have no time for silly games, Mister,” Mr. Belle said sternly, “If you think this is funny, I believe what’s best is for you to leave.” “I’m his twin brother – Chassell Fray Anderson. Just call me Chase,” I revealed before he could yell at me further. It wasn't the best time to expose my identity, and I soon realized it made things even more perplexed than it already is. “Hey!” Sarah snapped a finger which drew our attention to her, “You can explain about that later. I find Marie’s situation more important to deal with.” Wow, I never thought the chestnut auburn my brother despised of was this . . . intriguing. She cast a I-could-hardly-care-less-about-you look at me. How pleasant. “First of all, how did Marie end up in a worst state than we last saw her? It was when you left, it seems like life has left her. She must hate you,” Sarah pointed out impulsively. Okay, I have little tolerance - I know that - and Sarah is getting on my nerves. “Or it could be the other way around,” I grinned. “Bullshit. She’s with Dav –” suddenly, her expression shifted to aghast as she covered her mouth, “Oh my god. She switched from David to . . . you?” I sighed, "It doesn't matter who she's with. I just hope she's okay." "Well, she's not," Mr. Belle said discouragingly as he peeked into the translucent inner-windows of Marie's room. I don't usually experience this, but it was depressing to see a father give up like that. "What makes you so sure of it?" I savvied. Even Sarah was curious to hear his answer. "Because I'm her father, and I know things!" he yelled fiercely. Though he sounded angry, it was more towards sad, "She's never gonna heal after what I did to her." "You know, you should be sorry. But it doesn't matter. What does is her," I took a glance through the window and mused, "If her own father doesn't believe in her, who does?" I turned back to face him. First, he looked really impressed - shocked, mostly. I heard his mutter to Sarah, "That man is spectacular." Hey, I did nothing. But don't you know every man needs to brag once in a while? Without wasting any more time, I paced into Marie's room. Accidentally, I cracked the silence when I opened the door. "Didn't I make it clear that I never want to see any of you again?!" she screamed before she saw me. But when she did, she wasn’t prepared to speak to me. “What are you doing here?” her swollen eyes were pouring, “You won’t find the attention you need.” "I'm not looking for attention. I'm not asking you for any special treatment either. I know I don't deserve it, but you do,” I took few steps closer, “You know it’s not about me, it's you . . . that means the world to me,” my distressed eyes looked way too concern. Marie believed it at first, but she snapped out of it and made it seem like I’ve never said it, “Kill me if you have to, I just want the pain to end.” "Then who's stopping you?" I replied, "David?" After I managed to calm her a bit, I had her give me some space beside her on the bed. "See? I mean you no harm," I half-smiled. Marie went speechless after that, and that was when the awkward silence started. Before long, she fell asleep on my chest. At least, I thought she did. - - - Marie Belle The sounds of his beating heart were so soothing to the ears. His strawberry aroma were so sweet-scented, it cleared up my nose that was caused by all of the crying. I sniffed in deeply, trying to sedate myself. How can he look so calm even at a time like this? "Stop it," Chase said, "Stop whatever you are doing." I stared at him, figuring out what he meant by that. "You're trying to calm yourself down when you know you can't." "Is that so wrong?" I questioned with a bad migraine banging in my head, causing more tears to flush down. "Yes, it is," Chase confronted. "It won't work, Chase," I muttered, finally giving in to his theory, "Have you seen the look on their faces? It's like they don't even give a damn. Then how can I . . . how can I expect myself to be alright again? To even give an inch of trust to somebody, to hope for the better . . ." "You don't have to," I told her, "- because it's okay to feel insecure. It's okay to feel that no one loves you. At least, if you're not lying to yourself, you can prove to them that you're fine with being messed up. Maybe if you give yourself time, you can soon forget who have hurt you and why you have been." By the time he reached the last word, I dosed off to sleep. Though I have heard everything, my mind was begging me to rest. Like what Chase said, only time can heal me. For now, let's just pray I can keep up the good work. - - - DAY SEVENTEEN: WEDNESDAY Early sunshine and rise, the bed wasn't comfy enough to scare the depression away. As though I haven't slept at all, I wiped my slumberous eyes, feeling the deep, dark eye bags. The glance in the mirror was horrid. I never looked this terrible before, especially with the track of my tears still sighted clearly. It was like a scar - a scar so deep, the stains of tears lining under my eyes could stay there forever. There were loud, ugly noises outside. - - - "No, you can't see her," Chase argued. I’ve never seen him this serious before. "I need to apologize," a man fuddled, "I need to tell her!" "Mr. Belle! You're just gonna make it worst!" Chase tried to cease. Oh, I see. It's the beast. This just proves one of my theories right - wherever he goes, he brings heartache. And this time, I'm pointing to Dad, not Chase. "Wait," I blocked Chase with my arm as I crept from behind, "I want to listen to what he has to say." Dad looked like he could clobber all of us with one blow when his drunken face lit up. I was interested to see what act he has put up this time. Before any of that, I slapped him on his left cheek first while he balanced himself. “Don’t you think I would find out sooner or later?!” Chase grabbed hold of me just in case I awake the monster inside of me. “Do you think you could handle your mother’s death when you were in a position to die?! As a father, I had no choice but to hide it from you!” “That's not good enough," I muffled my cry, "I don’t care about you anymore! Because to me, my father’s already dead, so don’t you dare lie to me again. Don't bother,” I maundered lifelessly. As impressed as I was to see him ruined, there was sensational pain flooding the entire room. So silent, the atmosphere was. Just me staring blankly at him as the tears kept pelting. If there were boulders, I would lapidate him. "I don't want to see you again . . . ever," he was petrified - everyone were, actually, "I said leave!" I held onto Chase's arm to not let my anger run wild. I tried to control it with everything I have left – to stand there with no sign of weaknesses, to suppress down deeply all the cuts and scars – even though Chase told me not to, I still did . . . because I wanted to make sure my father saw how much I despised of him. The door shut right before my eyes. Instantly, I lost it – the control, and there you have it – a powerless, fragile soul. Chase’s lulling was useless now, because everything was focused on one panorama: my father left me. - - - DAY TWENTY: SATURDAY Well, when you go, Chase’s shoulder was a comfortable pillow to rest on. Basically, I was just trying to figure out why I was always the one to lose. The past three days, moping around became a habit of mine, even worst – tormenting myself somehow felt satisfying for a change. Meanwhile, I tried my best to push away what I don’t want and what I don’t need. At least, the physiological doctors Chase brought in the house yesterday gave some words of encouragement, “She'll be fine as long as she keeps her mood above average." Above average? Okay, I have failed. I don't think I have a word for my mood level now. But it's somewhere across the negative point. “Don’t stay with me all day, Chase. You have a life outside this house. You don't have to do this if you do want to -” “Trust me, I need to,” he grinned crookedly. Normally, I only fall for Dave's but there is no difference when Chase does it too. I guess I'm a sucker for both. Now Chase would think I am so madly in love with him. Chase didn't hesitate to have his lips touch mine. And it gave my senses a tingling sensation. This time, I pulled away immediately. "You know I can't," I uttered without having to meet his gaze. "But that night -" Chase jumped into conclusions. "That night . . . was merely because I was vulnerable. And I was gullible enough to let you take advantage of me," I answered back before he could finish his sentence. Look at me, I deserve an award for making excuses one after another. "That's not true and you know it." Chase was neither right or wrong. He didn't misunderstand either. I was the one who needs to face realism. But Chase knows how puzzled I am about my feelings. He knows that. But why can't he give me the time I need to sit down and think. I guess he's just tired of seeing me mooning about and revolve myself around lies. It was the best time to switch topics before he could harass me even more. "Yeah, whatever. I'm going back to bed. The doctors were right. This depression's really exhausting -" I even faked a laugh as I marched by the hallway. Slowly, tears run down one after the other. When am I going to stop this? But I would have never guessed Chase would climb another step higher, exceeding all boundaries when I was helplessly paralyzed against the wall when my arms were fastened tightly. "That night, you told me to leave, but you didn't want that, now did you? And it took me awhile to figure that out," his eyes searching for answers, "Why is it so hard for you to admit that you actually love me?" "Because I don't!" I shout back fiercely. "I'm not convinced," his breath lingered on the peak of my nose as he crept closer, "If you don't, then push me away," Chase grabbed my left hand to his chest, "Push me far." I gripped onto his shirt, "I can't," impotently saying the words he wanted to hear. "Then don't," his velvet voice drew me in. Chase forced my hands to the side and planted an emphatic kiss to my lips. Chase lunged towards me and inhaled deeply before our mouths were moving together. Then, I heard something drop onto the wooden floor. My eyes couldn't believe it. It was too lurid for me to handle. David stood there - dismayed, and utterly weakened. He saw everything there was to see. I wasn't focused on the bouquet of freshly picked daisies scattered on the ground, because David's expression said it all. I could see it in his wateryeyes - he hated me. "David . . . it's not what it looks like," I told him. His raging eyes were furious as they got teary. David spat out, "You know, I would kiss you right now if you weren't Chase's. But you are . . . so I won't," in disbelief, he was painfully muttering every word. David ended with a scary yet defeated look at Chase and I. Another loud bang which came from the door filled across the room. Everyone flinched. Chase tried to touch me, but I screamed at him, "Just fuck off, okay?!" Labels: The eyes of someone blue |
About the Author
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended © 2009. Plagiarism is outlawed.I am Sandra Lau (blogger of sandralautzelin.blogspot.com). And I've been charged for passionately writing too many emotional and suspensive dramas. I live by my tacky metaphors and deep quotes, but hell yeah, I love 'em! Reviews means a lot to me, and criticism are most welcomed as well. About the Story
The Eyes of Someone BlueWho says darkness can't be lit up again? The prequel: Marie Belle goes through living hell daily and when she was delivered the worst news of her life - her mother's death, she finds it impossible to regain such a thing called happiness. Hence, her dad set her up on a television broadcast competition and therefore, she also won. Her prize? A stranger, and another who appears later - both likely to fall in love with her. But whoever said 'Don't talk to strangers' doesn't want you to make new friends. But they are only unknowns to her, but to the world, they are the kings of the music industry. Was it worth the fight? Maybe, maybe not. Starring: 1. Charles Belle (Joaquin Phoenix) 2. Chase Anderson 3. Clara Belle (Julianna Margulies) 4. Damon Anderson 5. David Anderson 6. Emma Rose (Katie Holmes/Cruise) 7. Lennea Parkers (Shantel VanSanten) 8. Lily Anderson (Cate Blanchet) 9. Marie Belle 10. Sarah Gabriels (Leighton Meester) 11. Trevor Parkman (Hayden Christensen) Click here to read: Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three Chapter Four Chapter Five Chapter Six Chapter Seven Chapter Eight Chapter Nine Reviews
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